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  Follies and Nonsense

  A Variation on Pride and Prejudice

  By: Martin Hunnicutt

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination based on the original novel, Pride and Prejudice. This novel uses British English spellings.

  Follies and Nonsense

  Copyright 2020 by Martin Hunnicutt

  All rights reserved

  Synopsis

  Pressured into an arranged marriage by her parents, Elizabeth Bennet was absent from Longbourn for three years. Now a widow with a young son, she returns to Meryton to help her family where she meets Mr. Darcy and takes the young man to task for his unkind statements at the Meryton Assembly. As they meet and talk at tea, suppers and hunting parties, they discover common interests and form a friendship that grows into a warm regard. Miss Bingley causes problems immediately and then Mr. Wickham, Mr. Collins, and Lady Catherine arrive on the scene to compound complications. While Elizabeth hides her situation from Mr. Darcy, his habit of doing things his own way creates misunderstandings and trouble.

  What will his reaction be when he discovers the truth about her situation?

  Table of Contents

  1. In Which Elizabeth Receives a Letter

  2. Mr. Darcy’s Family

  3. In Which Elizabeth Makes up Her Mind

  4. In Which Problems at Longbourn Are Revealed

  5. Elizabeth Returns to Longbourn

  6. Stories are Shared at Longbourn

  7. Invitations Arrive in London and Meryton

  8. The Bennet Ladies Attend the Assembly Ball

  9. In Which Mr. Darcy Listens

  10. The Ladies Return to Longbourn

  11. Netherfield Discuss Hertfordshire

  12. The Ladies Discuss the Assembly

  13. Rules of Courting and Flavoured Vinegar

  14. Mr. Darcy Observes Mrs. Hamilton

  15. An Invitation to Tea

  16. The Gentlemen Attend a Shooting Party at Lucas Lodge

  17. A Visit to Longbourn

  18. The Ladies Visit Netherfield Again

  19. The Shooting Party at Longbourn

  20. In Which Mr. Collins Arrives Unexpectedly

  21. The Appearance of Mr. Wickham

  22. In Which Mr. Wickham Tells His Story

  23. Elizabeth Searches for Truth

  24. Darcy Invites Colonel Fitzwilliam to Hertfordshire

  25. Mr. Collins Asks Questions

  26. Feuds and Settlements

  27. A Visit to the Militia Camp near Meryton

  28. Information from Derbyshire

  29. An Unpleasant Evening at Netherfield

  30. Mr. Darcy Apologises

  31. Wickham Signs the Enlistment Papers

  32. Wickham’s Last Victim

  33. The Fox Hunt at Netherfield

  34. Mr. Darcy Decides to Bring His Sister to Hertfordshire

  36. Country Life with Courting and Horses

  36. Healing the Neighbourhood

  37. Lady Catherine Creates Problems

  38. Lady Catherine in London

  39. Confrontation with Lady Catherine

  40. Darcy Meets the Gardiners

  41. In Which Georgiana Meets the Bennet Family

  42. In Which Fences Are Repaired

  43. Mr. Bennet Interviews Three Gentlemen

  44. Miss Bingley’s Last Dinner at Longbourn

  45. In Which Miss Bingley Leaves for London

  46. Entertaining New Guests at Netherfield

  47. The Fox Hunt Ball at Netherfield

  48. In Which Miss Bingley Returns from London

  49. In Which Miss Bingley Learns What She Missed

  50. Easter at Longbourn

  51. Mr. Collins Makes an Unwelcome Proposal

  53. In Which There Are Many Happy Beginnings

  Chapter 1.

  In Which Elizabeth Receives a Letter

  Elizabeth Hamilton paused outside the family dining room to determine if her father-in-law and brother-in-law were present this morning. Lord Rutherford and Viscount Lyndon could argue as loudly any other noblemen but she preferred to break her fast in a peaceful setting. A footman opened the door for the young woman as she walked into the room. This morning, Lord Rutherford sat alone at the table where he was attended by the butler, Mr. Jones, and two footmen.

  “Good morning Father,” Elizabeth said before she went to the buffet along the wall to select her food.

  “You are late this morning,” replied the elderly man gruffly. “Did you take young Matthew for a long walk?”

  “We walked to the stables to see your new filly and returned through the rose garden where Louis had a surprise for us. He found a hedgehog in the litter around the roses and caught it for Matthew to see.”

  The earl’s face lightened. “Old Louis had a soft spot for Mattie when he was a child and Little Matthew looks like his father at that same age.”

  Glancing at her father-in-law, Elizabeth added, “Mrs. Jones assures me that Matthew is just as likely to get into trouble as his father. But from the stories that my mother tells, I was just as much trouble at this age.”

  A footman held Elizabeth’s chair for her at the table and she turned her attention to her meal as the earl asked Jones for the location of his secretary.

  “Mr. Edgeworth broke his fast early this morning sir and he has been in the study for the last hour with the steward. He wanted to review notes about the yearlings.”

  “Very good.” The earl drained his cup and signalled the footman to pull back his chair.

  Elizabeth kept her eyes on her plate as the footman opening the door for Lord Rutherford and then followed him out. Even after three years in Rose Briar Manor, the attention of the large number of servants made her uncomfortable and from her involvement with the details of running the household, she knew the expense the large staff created on the estate’s income.

  “Lady Elizabeth, a letter arrived for you this morning,” Jones said as he brought a silver tray to the table with a letter addressed to her attention in her mother’s hand.

  Gracing the man with a genuine smile, Elizabeth took the letter from the tray. “Thank you, Jones.”

  The butler’s face remained solemn but his eyes brightened at the smile from the kind lady.

  “Reading at the table again Elizabeth?” asked a booming voice. Elizabeth turned as her brother-in-law rushed into the room. “Father will lecture you if he observes unladylike behaviour at the breakfast table.”

  “His Lordship just left to meet with Mr. Edgeworth and Mr. Hatton about the young horses,” Elizabeth replied. “This letter is from my mother at Longbourn and His Lordship always enjoys the news of life in Meryton.”

  The young lord smirked filling a plate and letting a footman bring him a cup of tea. “I have my own news this morning.”

  “Yes? What is your news?” the young woman asked.

  Lyndon lifted his cup to take a sip, leaving Elizabeth in suspense for a moment.

  “Lady Gwendolyn Howell accepted my offer last night. We shall marry in August.”

  The formality of the proposal was expected but the two families had arranged the marriage the previous winter. But Elizabeth responded honestly, “I hope you will be very happy, Lyndon!”

  The man grinned. “I shall do my best to make her happy.”

  Glancing toward his father’s empty chair, he continued, “His Lordship is pleased with the dowry Gwen brings – thirty thousand pounds. And her mother looks forward to having a daughter who will be a countess.”

  “I hope you are blessed with happiness and healthy children!” Elizabeth said.

  “Lady Mary has already predicted that Gwen will be
increasing by Christmas based on the Rutherford family history of a birth in the first year of marriage.”

  Realizing he might have brushed against a sad memory, the viscount reached out and clasped Elizabeth’s hand. “I am sorry…”

  “Do not be sorry Lyndon – I am never sad for long when I think of Matthew,” Elizabeth replied. “We had a short time as man and wife and I have warm memories of that spring.”

  Lyndon nodded. “Mattie’s laugh brightened all of our lives but he was such a firebrand to fight Napoleon – he was proud of his service to the king.”

  “And we have little Matthew,” Elizabeth insisted.

  “Yes,” Lyndon agreed. “Father only emerged from his grief when you told us that Mattie’s child would be born at Christmas.”

  Elizabeth directed their discussion back to Lyndon’s news. “When will you announce the engagement?”

  Lyndon smirked. “I assume that Lady Howell will tell us during her visit this afternoon.”

  “The Howell family is coming this afternoon?” the young woman asked.

  “Will that create a problem?” he asked without answering her question.

  Shaking her head briefly to reassure her brother-in-law, Elizabeth considered things for a moment before reassuring Lyndon further, “I shall ask Mrs. Jones to plan a splendid tea in the parlour and she will lead Lady Gwendolyn on a tour of the house.”

  “Prepare Mrs. Jones – Lady Mary may join such a tour,” Lyndon warned. “My future mother-in-law will inspect each dressing room and water closet this afternoon as well as the drawing rooms, bedrooms and attics.”

  “I have observed that Mrs. Jones is a capable woman who has dealt with many members of the ton when they have called at Rose Briar over the last three years. And I will remain behind when they make their tour,” Elizabeth replied. “If I have taken the proper measure of Lady Mary, she will want to make certain of my removal from the house occurs before her daughter takes up residence.”

  “You do not need to step aside,” Lyndon assured his sister-in-law. “Father will not allow you to be forced from Rose Briar and Matthew can grow up here if you wish.”

  Elizabeth shook her head but her smile remained and her eyes gleamed. “Matthew and I planned to settle at Mount Pleasant as soon as his military duties ended. Before you bring the future mistress of Rose Briar to her new home, I shall settle with my son in the house where he will be master someday.”

  “Father will be reluctant to see you and young Matthew leave,” Lyndon said. “He doesn’t say so but I am certain you bring him great comfort.” The viscount paused before saying, “I shall miss you and the little one, Elizabeth. You’re my link to my brother.”

  “Matthew will need his uncle in the future – I hope that you and your wife will travel to Mount Pleasant for many visits in the coming years.”

  Rising from his chair, the viscount said, “I shall take Brutus on a long ride this morning and be home with ample time to prepare for Lady Gwendolyn’s visit.”

  “Enjoy your ride!” Elizabeth called after her brother-in-law as she turned to her letter.

  ++**++

  May 15, 1811

  Longbourn

  Dear Lizzy,

  I hope you and my grandson are well. Did he enjoy the toy that I sent? It is so hard to find gifts for little boys – I was always able to buy ribbons or bonnets for you girls. Perhaps when Matthew is a few years older, I can purchase books for him as your father did when you were a young girl.

  Each day, we look for a letter from your father announcing his return but I have been disappointed since receiving his message in March. I find that I miss your father’s wit Lizzy – can you imagine? The neighbours have all been kind and our servants are very loyal. But I miss him terribly – when he returns home, I shall never allow him to leave my side again.

  Forgive me Lizzy – your Mamma has not forgotten your loss. Your Matthew was taken from you so soon after your wedding. My only consolation is that you have little Matthew and a secure settlement. As your little boy grows, you will understand why I make that point about the settlement. I am afraid every day that your father will never return.

  But I must write good things in my letter – be proud of your sisters Jane and Mary – they handle the accounts and bills with your Uncle Gardiner’s occasional oversight. At Christmas, my brother was exceedingly pleased with the girls and he has not felt it necessary to travel to Longbourn since then to review the accounts. Mr. Peterson is especially pleased with how well ‘the Bennet girls’ have done with the tenants and farming.

  I visited Mrs. Peterson in the steward’s house last week and she receives letters from her son in the army but not a single word from the one working for your Uncle Gardiner. Mrs. Peterson fears he has taken up with fallen women but I assured her that my brother would not allow his apprentices to cavort about London with such creatures.

  Kitty spends time each day on the pianoforte with Mary and her sewing with Jane. I believe she will be an accomplished young lady.

  Opposite of Kitty, Lydia remains difficult to direct and guide. I know it is my own fault for spoiling her dreadfully but she is my baby.

  Your sisters send their love to you and Matthew, and I send mine as well. Give our dear boy a kiss from his Grandmamma.

  Your Mother

  ++**++

  “I must write my sisters after I make arrangements for tea,” Elizabeth mused as she finished breaking her fast. Knowing the house’s servants were busy with assignments during this time of day and the housekeeper would be in her office, Elizabeth would venture below stairs.

  Rising from her chair, she made her way to the kitchens. Seeing Lady Elizabeth in the doorway to the kitchens, the cook bowed his head and pointed toward the housekeeper’s office along the hallway.

  Through the open doorway of her office, the housekeeper saw the lady approaching her office and rose.

  “Good morning, Lady Elizabeth,” greeted the housekeeper as Elizabeth entered the small office.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Jones.”

  “How may I be of assistance?” the housekeeper asked, waiting for Elizabeth to sit in the chair opposite her desk before sitting again.

  Comfortably seated in the chair, Elizabeth turned to Mrs. Jones and explained her visit. “Viscount Lyndon asked me to arrange a special tea for Lady Gwendolyn Howell and her mother, Lady Mary, this afternoon.”

  Raising her eyebrows in surprise for a moment, Mrs. Jones reviewed what she remembered of the Howells.

  “Lady Mary created great ‘concern’ among our maids and footmen last fall during her short stay for the hunting party. Should I gird myself with helmet and armour, my lady?” asked the housekeeper; after serving under Lady Elizabeth for three years, Mrs. Jones trusted the young widow’s perspective and opinions.

  “Wear your newest dress and apron,” Elizabeth replied as she struggled to keep a smile from creeping across her face. “Lord Rutherford expects his staff to be courteous to guests but not to fawn over them.”

  “How special would you like this afternoon’s tea, my lady?”

  “Is there cake? Can the cook bake tarts in time for this afternoon?”

  The housekeeper furrowed her brow in surprise. “The gardeners brought in strawberries this morning and there is fresh cream. Biscuits are good enough for His Lordship’s tea. Is this tea for Viscount Lyndon’s intended?”

  Without hesitation, Elizabeth confirmed the housekeeper’s question. “Lord Lyndon gave me the news at breakfast in front of Mr. Jones and the footmen.”

  Tilting her head to one side, Elizabeth continued, “This afternoon, the staff of Rose Briar can demonstrate to the future mistress the house’s well-deserved reputation for truly excellent service.”

  Mrs. Jones kept her expression neutral as she asked, “Will the Howells be at Rose Briar often this summer?”

  Elizabeth shook her head to reassure the housekeeper. “I imagine that after the engagement is announced, everyone’s attention wi
ll focus on the Howell home with preparations for the wedding, followed by a long honeymoon before the couple arrives here.”

  Leaving the housekeeper to speak to the cook about tea for the Howells, Elizabeth returned to the rose garden.

  ++**++

  “Lady Elizabeth,” Louis, her favourite gardener, welcomed the young widow with a bow. “How may I help you? What brings you to the rose garden for a second time in a single day?”

  “We have important guests coming to tea this afternoon,” Elizabeth explained. “I need enough fragrant roses to fill two vases as soon as possible Mr. Louis. I want the front parlour filled with their scent.”

  “I shall deliver the roses to the still room in the next fifteen minutes my lady.”

  “Thank you, Louis,” Elizabeth said as she stopped to enjoy a fragrant, yellow rose that was blooming. After checking on the front parlour, Elizabeth made her way to the still room near the kitchen where Louis had placed a large basket filled with pink roses.

  As she slipped on her gloves, Elizabeth selected a pair of matching vases. After filling the vases with water, she used clippers to remove leaves and thorns before arranging the stems. The blossoms were fat and fragrant, the petals bright and soft as velvet. When she was satisfied with the arrangement, Barrow and another footman carried the vases to the parlour where she directed their placement away from the windows.

  Satisfied with the preparations, Elizabeth retreated to the upper floors of the house to visit her son in the nursery, write letters to her sisters and then prepare for the arrival of the Howells.

  ++**++

  Bathed, perfumed, and dressed to receive the Howells, Elizabeth watched in the vanity mirror as her lady’s maid styled her hair.

  “I need something stylish but not outlandish for an afternoon tea,” she instructed Mrs. Barrow.

  The maid grinned at her mistress. “Stylish, but not outlandish, Lady Elizabeth? Your curls slip out of the pins and combs on a good day.”

  “I hope I’m not too difficult.”